


any way you want it

by thegoodlannister



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mental Health Issues, Redemption, discussion of issues surrounding food/eating, rehabilitation and healing, treating characters gently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6510847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegoodlannister/pseuds/thegoodlannister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>rey helps ben begin to work through the process of making decisions - even really simple ones - for himself.  rehabilitation is a slow process in the aftermath of the mess snoke has spent three decades making of ben's mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	any way you want it

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the heart-rending headcanons shared with raven-star7 on tumblr.

“Are you hungry?” Rey looks at him across the table, and Ben shrugs, giving her the little half-smile she’s learning he does when he’s nervous but thinks he shouldn’t be. They haven’t eaten since breakfast, so she knows he has to be starving, though he isn’t very good at realizing that yet.  
  
That’s something Rey understands.  For someone so intimately acquainted with hunger, it had taken her months to recognize the feeling outside of the immediate threat of starvation.  She raises an eyebrow at him.  “We haven’t eaten since this morning.”  
  
Ben looks embarrassed at needing to be reminded of this, the tips of his ears going a bit red underneath the fall of his hair, and Rey reaches a hand out to tug one of them playfully.  She wants to tell him that she knows he’s always hungry by now, but she holds her tongue, giving him the chance to decide for himself.  She won’t tell him what to feel - he’s had enough of that for ten lifetimes, and Rey refuses to let either of them feel trapped again.  
  
He ducks away from her touch, curving in on himself when an officer at the table across from them looks their way, but the little smile is still there.  “I could eat,” he agrees, and Rey gives him a look that says _‘I told you so’_ \- tries not to make too much of the little spark of triumph in her chest, because the real test is next.  
  
“What are you in the mood for?” she asks nonchalantly, gauging his reaction.  It isn’t difficult with the bond between them, and immediately she feels the tightness of Ben’s anxiety in her chest, tendrils of it making her catch her breath a little.   
  
They play this game often enough that she knows he knows what she’s doing.  Knows how ashamed he is that choosing what to have for lunch can be his undoing.  “Anything.  You pick, you know what I like,” he grinds out, his gaze fixed on the floor while his hands pluck at the fabric of his pants.  Inside her head, Rey dares anyone watching to comment on his struggle - they’ll never understand, Ben is stronger than any of them.  
  
Ben is right, Rey could easily choose for him.  Even if she hadn’t shared enough meals with him - alone, before he was permitted, or even wanted, to leave his quarters - she could find the memories of his favorite childhood treats in the pages of his mind.   
  
That does not interest her.  Instead, she slides around to his side of the table, close enough that their thighs are pressed together - relishes that neither of them feels they have to pull away.  “Hmm… I’m feeling indecisive today.“  Her fingers find his under the table, Ben’s hand engulfing hers when she links their fingers together.  His palm is clammy, but his touch steadier than when they’ve done this in the past, and after a moment, he raises his head to look at her, his hair flopping into his eyes in a way Rey is finding more distracting by the day.  "Let’s talk about it,” she urges, gently.   
  
And they do.  It takes twenty minutes for Ben to decide on a stew Rey detests.  She’s half-certain he does it on purpose - to punish her for forcing him to make the decision at all - and the mischievous way his mouth turns up when she forces another spoonful down her throat confirms it.  
  
But the joke’s on Ben.  She’d eat the stuff everyday if it meant seeing him like this more often.

\---

_End._


End file.
